Something you may not know about me is that when I was 21 years old, I was admitted into the ICU for pulmonary embolisms. They started as DVT’s (deep vein thrombosis— or blood clots) in my right leg and because of that it left some of my veins permanently damaged. Back when I was experiencing this for the first time I was told that since I’d had blood clots once, my chances of them reoccurring were higher. I always hoped that would never be the case of course. Last year I started noticing superficial thrombosis on that same leg and when I went to the hospital they refused to put me on a blood thinner since it wasn’t deep vein. Fast forward to Saturday, November 10th. I had noticed pain in my left leg for about three days and basically wished and prayed, hoping it would go away. Nothing changed and that Saturday, knowing I was about to fly for 14 hours, I went to the local doctor. He ordered an ultra sound on my leg and unfortunately they found a DVT. I was prescribed Coumadin and Enoxaparin sodium injections. Injections! I administered these to myself twice a day. Never in my life would I have thought I could give myself a shot. It still totally blows my mind that I was able to follow through with that. But, as of today, I’m done with the shots. As much as I’ve had to do in order to navigate through this, it still has all seemed fairly easy. I know a great deal of people were praying for me and continue to do so. I’m very grateful to everyone, including the doctors, nurses, lab techs, pharmacists and my friends who have been driving me when I need it.
Even in all this, I feel truly blessed. I feel blessed that I have so much support in every facet of my life. I even feel blessed to have had this occur, in the sense that it has forced me to face my biggest fear. I can honestly say, for the first time in my life, that my fear of death has subsided. Perhaps not completely but I’m on the path to accepting what I cannot change. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll do everything in my power to fight for my life, and not just to survive but to thrive. But at the end of the day, when I’ve done everything I can to help myself, beyond that, I have no control. Knowing that I’m doing everything I’m capable of, helps.
I did end up taking my flight to Honolulu. I even gave myself a shot in the air—although that could definitely have been avoided. I wore compression socks on my flight and kept myself hydrated. Yesterday I was told that my prescription refill for the Enoxaparin was going to be over $700. Luckily, someone told me about www.GoodRX.com. Because of this I was able to show my coupon to the pharmacist and get my prescription for only $52.11. If you are self-pay, like myself, I highly recommend checking this website out.
So here I am, in Hawaii. The whole experience has been nothing short of surreal. Today marks a week. I have applied to jobs, found a local doctor, found a place I can go to get my blood tested that doesn’t cost much, hiked to two waterfalls, been to the beach twice, spent one day with anxiety and regrettably it was on this day I chose to go to the world’s largest outdoor mall and I finally know what spam tastes like. Gotta tell you folks, I like it. Tomorrow my roommates and I have a meeting to see an apartment and then I meet with the owner of a place I applied to. It still hasn’t sunk in that I live on an island. I try not to think about that fact and everyone I’m missing too much because it can all be very daunting. Mostly, I look forward to getting a job and having some structure and consistency. In the mean time, more adventures await.